"Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city."
Yesterday I was reminded of what I've left behind. Mexico. It's been almost a year since I've been to Nogales. Pastor Jorge was on campus yesterday, and I got to spend a few hours with him. It was so refreshing to have meaningful conversations about something we are both passionate about: the people of Mexico. I know many of you think I'm crazy and naive. Trust me I've heard it all, but let me tell you, you have no idea where my heart is. My heart aches to be there. I know about the violence; I experienced it. I know what is said in the media, but there is also a side of Mexico that you don't see or read in the news. I've seen love like I've never seen before. I've met some of the most hospitable people and have seen pure joy on the faces of those with nothing. I feel a peace there that is indescribable.
Why is it that we are so scared of a country that is suffering that we withhold love? How do I explain to a child that I can't come back because it is not safe for me but completely okay for her to continue living there? Why am I so different than her? How is my life more valuable than any other? Christ's love has no borders. I'll continue to stand by that statement. The violence does not scare me. I know I'm not invincible (and I can guarantee I don't go looking for danger there), but I also know my God has plans beyond my control. "If God is for us, who can be against us? For I am convinced that
neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:31b and 38-39. I cannot be protected from something that is inevitable. I want to assure you that I go into Mexico very aware and cautious of my surroundings. I pray earnestly before leaving the country. I will not go or take others with me that do not feel safe. However, I don't just form my opinions and beliefs based on how the media depicts something. I base most of my beliefs on experience, my own and others' who regularly venture across the border. I also openly discuss any possible risks involved with Pastor Jorge before each trip.
The hardest part about all of this is submission. This post may be viewed as rebellious or arrogant which is not my intention. I'll admit I struggle with submitting to the people in my life. There have been plenty of trips planned that I have had to cancel out of submission to those I love. But the beautiful thing about submitting to my family or friends is that I am truly submitting to God.
I apologize if this isn't the easiest thing to read. By no means do I not care about or listen to everyone's opinions. I understand that most of the opinions I hear come out of love and protection for me. I have read and reread this post many times. I have considered deleting it just as much. I have no true purpose or intentions in writing it other than expressing how I feel about the distance I have created between myself and the ones I love on the other side of the fence. I love them. I want my family and friends here to have a better understanding of that, but I know that is almost impossible unless you experience it with me. You will not know how fast my heart pounds as I hear the kids call my name and come running into my arms. I'm okay with being called crazy, naive, immature, unrealistic, or any other label I may receive. I am God's child and He is my Father. That's where I find truth.
"Quiero verte." I want to see you too. More badly than you even know.
